I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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