you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
