Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
