pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I touched a dick in church today
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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