why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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