My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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