Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
