shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
