You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
