Quick, to the slutcave!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
