You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
