i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
