Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize