you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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