she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
