now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
