That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
