There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
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he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
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Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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