just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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