No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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