Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
