Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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