M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
She swung at the pinata with crutches
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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