And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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