I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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