The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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