I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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