if i can run in heels then i can drive
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
