I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
