just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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