so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
