She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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