Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
