I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize