You surviving the open bar?
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Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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