oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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