Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
