I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize