I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
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He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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