Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
