have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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