Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
