smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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