who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
