She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize