I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
