can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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