The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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