I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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