Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize