He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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