Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
