my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Your shirt... Was in my pants
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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