This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize