Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.