I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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