I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize