Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
