So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
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